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One of the Boyz?

So, last night I met with two great friends for an impromptu dinner at Bar Pitti.  As the conversation & the burrata continued to flow, I practiced my broken "Italian" with our waiter Fabrizo.  After a few belly laughs and some shit talking- the topic of relationships came up and so very casually Dave (My single adorable, generous, hilarious, kind- JUST a friend, friend) mentions that he would never be into someone like me because although I'm attractive, I'm an aggressive, ambitious go getter with a take no shit mentality-"NOT a girlie girl who would do flips in the air and jump up and down if I bowled a strike."
And I'm thinking- So what are you trying to say DAVE, I'm fat?

He went on to say (with much love and admiration) that he loves spending time together but he feels like I'm like one of the boys. 

The truth is that I'm not sexually attracted to him and I never had hooking up with him on my mind because of the dynamic of our relationship- we are like "boyz"- For God's sake he took me to my first strip club a few months ago after dinner. I don't have to primp myself up before we're going to hang, I could just be me and not give a shit what I look like (well as much as I'm capable of not caring what I look like.)

Then I started to think about the type of men that I attract, they're ballsy and controlling, jealous and (for the most part) Loud. Ew... All I keep thinking is Drea from the sopranos. Is my personality only going to attract Christopher Multisanti's? Do I come off too masculine? And who says that I wouldn't get excited about bowling a strike? 

Oh who am I kidding? I wouldn't even go bowling, the thought of wearing a pair of shoes that a million dirty feet have been in is HORRIFYING. But, I have jumped up and down clapping after scoring a sick Marni blouse at a sample sale.

Oh why am I even giving this another thought? I love you Dave but, truth be told- I wouldn't want to fuck you anyway.


Sam Jones

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha nice ending! And glad to see you finally got the waiter's name right!